So why are so many of us fucked-up, needy, pill-popping, depressed, frowny sons-of-bitches?
Hard labor will always exist, but here in the States, the vast majority of people work in offices, at computers, or from home. We have an overabundance of free time on our hands, time that can ideally lead to doing things for us, like reading, watching a movie, or knitting. Instead, the vast majority of Americans sit around and think about how miserable they are, and watch TV shows that reiterate how shitty life is. Daytime talk shows more often than not show fucked-up people leading fucked-up lives, or how crappy things are in certain areas of the world. After that the news comes on, which is story after story of crime, sadness, foods that will kill you, people embarrassing themselves, and a bear that wandered into a hot tub. Then at night we have reality shows which display just how low a person will go to possibly win some cash, sitcoms with sarcastic assholes as the "loveable" main characters, or competitions where the more a person is degraded or told that they suck, the more people are entertained by it.
Then, after some unfunny late night talk shows, the airwaves are handed over to people who take it upon themselves to undo the damage created by the previous several hours of television viewing. These brave souls are the prophets of the Frowny Generation. They are The Self-Help Gurus.
Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, Dr. Phil, Dr. Laura, Stephen Covey...they are here to help you awaken the giants within, build seven (or is it eight?) habits to make you successful, create changing days in your life, be a no-limit person, and stop doing those stupid things which are screwing up your life and everyone else's. They know the answers, and they have the millions of dollars in sales to back it up. According to my favorite questionable source on the Internet, Wikipedia, the self-help market was worth $8.5 billion dollars in 2003, and by next year (2008) it is estimated to be worth over $11 billion.
The Self-Help Marketplace is the psychological equivalent to the romance novel. People who lack romance seek it in a book, and likewise, people who refuse (rightfully, I might add) psychiatric help, seek it in the Self-Help movement. And just like the romance novel, the Self-Help book is not something entirely new. Though there is an explosion of interest that constantly grows each year, there are predecessors to it starting with Ben Franklin's classic "Poor Richard's Almanac." The first real Self-Help book was written by a man with the delightful name Samuel Smiles, and it was titled..."Self-Help." (1859) I do not know how many copies it sold, or if it was a sensation upon release, but according to my "source," it was the first. Smiles wrote many more books, which apparently showcased Victorian values and emphasized individual achievement, for which Smiles was criticized by his contemporaries. Since that time we have had Alcoholics Anonymous (1935) to help people kick their liquor habit, Napoleon Hill to teach people how to get rich with their minds (1937), and Dale Carnegie to teach people how to expand their social circles and influence those in it (1936).
The main question here is...if these books have been around for decades, and hold the secrets to being a rich, happy, healthy person, why are so many people broke, miserable, and out-of-shape? My guess is that either these books do not work, or people are too lazy to apply the lessons taught in them. Much of what is covered in these books is of questionable scientific merit, and a lot of research into them say that the success rate is probably more of a placebo effect than anything else.
Can these books be trusted, then? Where can we find reliable reviews to help us sort out the empowering from the bullshit?
This, dear reader, is where I come in.
I am a voracious reader, and constantly stuff my mind with as much information as possible. For years I have read some of the deepest, most intellectually challenging books ever written (well, maybe just a couple of them). Well, it's time to take a break from all that. It's time for me to help YOU. Enough with The Canon. It's time for me to go slumming with Dr. Phil, find out why He's Just Not That Into You, and seek out that fucker Who Moved My Cheese.
I will be reading it all...the classics (How To Win Friends And Influence People, Think And Grow Rich, The AA "Big Book", The Strangest Secret, Psycho-Cybernetics), the questionable (I'm OK You're OK, Dianetics, All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten) and the fashionable (Awaken The Giant Within, Rich Dad Poor Dad, The Purpose Driven Life, Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus). By the end of this experiment I will either be a fulfilled, wealthy, powerful man with a wife who blows me five times a day, or I'll need years of psychiatric help to undo the damage. Either way, I'm sure it'll be entertaining for YOU, the reader.
Rather than start at the beginning, I will be starting this experiment with the most embarrassing book I've ever seen. A book which I will carry around and read everywhere I go, and will undoubtedly lead to snickers from bystanders and people in general thinking I'm a fruity bastard. It is this book:
After that, let me know what you want me to read. Depending on the book, I may spend more time with some over others, and actually try to apply the "techniques" they require. One book promises fulfillment after a week...I will read that one and if I am not totally satisfied with life at the end of that week, I will let you know that the author was a lying, manipulative cocksucker who should have his balls wrapped in barbed wire.
Wish me luck, and help me help you with your recommendations!
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